Gaming For Your Faceholes

Super Mario Bros: The Movie - Review by Star_Fists

New York City. A torrent of rain hammers the pavement filling the night air with an eerie sense. A cloaked women dashes across the street with a bundle in her arms. She drops the bundle off at the top of stairs of an orphanage. But as she places the bundle down the blanket falls away revealing a large oval metal capsule shimmering in the faint street light. The women scuttles off before a group of Nuns answer the door. The nuns take the capsule inside the orphanage and place it upon an altar, causing the capsule to open and reveal what looks to be a dinosaur egg. The nuns jump in surprise as they hear inside the egg a faint clicking sound. They all step backwards their faces stricken with fear, the egg hatches open to reveal a newborn baby girl covered in pale green slime.

Based off the Mario video game franchise by Nintendo, Super Mario Bros. attempts to create a believable world infused with the lore of the Mario universe. I was honestly surprised to find out many famous actors played roles in this film. I would have figured that their careers would have ended with this movie. But actors such as Bob Hoskins who played Mario -known for acting in Who framed Roger Rabbit and Hook- and Samantha Mathis starring as Daisy -acted in American Psycho and Broken Arrow- took part in the film and probably saved what little the movie put forth.

As previously stated the movie begins in New York City, where Daisy -the girl who hatched from an egg- is on a construction site digging up fossils. Where in a roundabout way meets up with Mario and Luigi after some of the construction companies thugs threaten to disband the excavation. But Luigi protects her. But the thugs have none of that and sabotage the site by breaking pipes and flood the area. But the dig site is saved by Mario and Luigi who happen to be plumbers. But in the process of fixing the leak Daisy is captured by two random bumbling thugs who jump through a stone wall -similar to that of Platform 9 ¾ from the Harry Potter Series-. Sound crazy yet? Mario and Luigi follow after thugs only to find on the other side of the stone wall an entire city teeming with life. What we find out most of the way through the movie is that the city is actually another world which is ruled by the ancestors of the Dinosaurs. The way the movie explained it was the meteor that we thought killed the dinosaurs actually created two different world. One on which humans thrived and the other one containing dinosaurs. But their world is dying off quickly since they have stripped the entire planet of plants and minerals. So the master of the city known as Koopa wishes to connect the worlds into one, and invade our earth and take our resources.

The entire movie makes everything really awkward, especially if you have ever played or heard of a Mario game. In the games the creatures are cute and seemingly harmless, but the movie turns them into dark depressing psychopaths. Along with that the Mario series is aimed mainly at children, but the movie makes random scenes oddly and unnecessarily sexual. For example a character named Big Bertha runs a club and Mario has to dance with her in order to obtain a necklace. Mario ends up trying to bite the necklace off of her which looks wrong in this circumstance.

The most impressive aspect of the movie is probably the living world that was created; the city feels like a city. The different people that Mario and Luigi run into could have been real people. They make the city feel what people would expect New York to be like, thieves around every corner, dark, and dirty. One of the aspects that really stood out were the cars, they followed the trolley type, where they get power from the lines above. Since Fossil fuels don’t exist on this planet. But because of the dingy destroyed world the motors have been modified to accept electricity and because of that they shoot sparks everywhere.

There are two type of people who I believe would love to watch this movie, those who have played any Mario games, or people who love watching terrible movies. The movie is filled with subpar acting, more than often terrible dialogue, and awful representation of beloved video game characters. I personally had a great laugh watching the movie, and watching it with my family made the experience that much better when we ragged on it. Super Mario Bros can give many people a good laugh.

Sir, You are being Hunted - Early Assessment by Star_Fists

Early Assessment - Current as of Alpha 0.7.5095

Sir, I regret to inform you that you have been trapped on an island. The experiment went a bit wonky and teleported sir out of my range of power. So sir unfortunately we must postpone our dinner plans indefinitely. But all hope is not lost sir, you can get off the island. There are giant stone pillars where parts of the experiment can be placed to teleport you back. The parts of said experiment sir are scattered across the surrounding islands and are still quite hot from the explosion. So if you would follow the smoke. Oh and Sir, you are being hunted.

This game is all high class and terror. Never thought I would be scared of a top hat wearing robot, or a teleporting scarecrow. Sir, You Are Being Hunted is one of those games that throws you on the edge of your seat and makes hold your breath in fear as you crouch in the grass when you hear even the slightest metallic beep. The game barely gives you any means of taking on your predators. I was only ever able to obtain bottles and rocks which you were able to throw to distract the enemies and send them in the other direction.

Sir, You are being Hunted could be an excellent game, but in it’s current state it barely offers enough for one play through. I found after about 15mins of crouching around that the fear wore off and I just sprinted around to the stones and hide when the need arises. All credit to them the scarecrow robot messed me up good. As soon as they brought that thing out I went back into hiding for another 15mins.

The atmosphere in the game is terrifying you can only hear yourself breath, footsteps, and the faint beeping of machinery. The art style just adds to that creepy vibe you get from the audio. The robots are very cartoony and light hearted, but have just enough of the threat/creepy factor for you to stay as far away as you can. The environment is huge spanning across five different islands, giving the player a sense of being alone.

But unfortunately the game really only has a one time play through at the current time, and as I said earlier you lose the scare factor very fast. I struggled to keep playing, there was no sense of achievement throughout the entire process. Just a little blue circle telling you how far you’ve gotten. I found the enjoyment of the game lasted maybe 40 minutes? Again I want to stress this is in Alpha and as with all early assessments things are bound to change. Hopefully for the better.

Sir, You are being Hunted:

Official Site: http://www.big-robot.com/

Steam: http://store.steampowered.com/app/242880/

Qubetubers New Minecraft server is LIVE !

It has been a long wait, and lots of people have abandoned the server, but we’re finally ready, and we’re hoping that you’ll all come check it out, and give us a chance to show you that both the reset and the wait were not in vain.

Some people, and going by votes that would be the majority, wanted a fresh started. We of course hope that you were sincere about that, and chose to come play on the Qubetubers SMP again. As for the people that didn’t like the idea of a reset, I know we swayed some of you after explaining the pros and cons to doing this, and we’re all looking forward to playing with you guys.

The people that were deeply against the reset and fresh start, I am/was one of them, I still haven’t completely made up my mind about how I feel about it all, BUT I had a lot of unfinished things, I had a lot of things that I could do better, be it with new blocks, or just me getting better at building over the years, but dreading tearing stuff down to rebuild it, I am looking forward to starting over on those things. I’ll miss my hoarded items, but I’ll enjoy mining and gathering it all again. Thinking back, mining was what I did most, and I enjoyed it. Till that point in time where you would never need to mine again, so I didn’t. And I probably do miss needing to.

I had everything, and so did a lot of other people, I still did things, but it might have been less exciting. And I may still be sad about it, but I am now excited about starting over, starting over with new blocks, new features, new ways of doing things.

From the days of Central City that we all thought was awesome, to a guy who can now see how, not utter crap at building, because it was not bad, but we can just do so much better now, now that we’ve had years to improve, and have new blocks to play with. I really hope that we see you guys, the people really against the reset, back on the server, come explore the new things in minecraft, the new people that hopefully will find our server, and stick around. Come tell us the tales of your first diamond pickaxe and the shit enchant that you end up with on it =)

//Amaranthin`

Please Join Us Minecraft Version 1.7.4 , the ip is qubetubers.com

• Brand new hub system. Our hub is now the central gateway to specific servers, Survival, Creative, PvP, Events.

• /spawn is now world specific, while /hub is replacing the more centralized “spawn”

An all new portal system, coded by our very own CyaNox! These portals differ from our old portal plugin, allowing for free-form gate design.

An easy to use teleport system.

• Only two commands, /tp and /s.

• Teleportation has a 5 second cooldown timer, meaning you can’t cheat yourself out of nasty situations with teleporting.

Jumpads!

An all new land claim system!

• Your first claim is as simple as placing a chest in the wilderness.

• Available claim sizes grow the longer you are on the *specific server.

• Claim sizes are server specific. For example, if you play a whole lot on the survival server, but don’t play much on the creative server, your allowed amount of claimed blocks would be greater than your allowed claim blocks on the creative server!

The new claim system has video tutorials!

Homes are more balanced!

• Setting your home in survival requires you to sleep in a bed at night, while setting your home in creative is as simple as /sethome

The Qubetubers SMP has been overhauled, but will at the time of the public launch be no where near completed. A lot of work has been put into getting it off the ground, but is still basically at a bare minimum.

Lots of features are not yet ready. We’re probably hovering around a 20-25% completed project.

At the time of writing, the more notable features that have been planned are listed below.

Now, don’t think that this is going to be the whole server, the features released with the server on release don’t amount to 50% of what’s going to be added later on! Here’s a list of what you can expect as the server progresses.

• More worlds! Including a void world, an events world, and by popular demand, a regen world!

• PVP and Events!

• The all new, qubetubers currency, Qubelets!

• Qubelets is too detailed to put in a few bullets, so click here to learn more about them!

A new, customizable chat system is currently in the works, but it will be worth the wait in the end ;)

VIP Anonymity.

Friend system!!!

Although the portal system is implemented, it can not at this time transport entities cross world (Same world portal transport of entities work). Cross server features are to be added in the future.

Sign lifts.

Votifier, fully integrated with the upcoming Qubelets.

Please Join Us Minecraft Version 1.7.4 , the ip is qubetubers.com

The future of the QT SMP spawn is going to be a medieval themed city, we know it’s been done loads of place. but not on our server. We’re including a basic layout in the image below, everything else is up for interpretation as long as it’s within the theme. Nothing has been built yet, as we’d love for it to be done in survival mode. Consistency across the entire area would be really appreciated. Show us what you can do in a creative area, doesn’t have to be anything grand, but we’d love a general idea of your building skills.

Link included Spawn Layout =)

Please Join Us Minecraft Version 1.7.4 , the ip is qubetubers.com

Qubetubers is a gaming community formed in 2010 by a crazy lady called Syntria. Since then we've spent countless hours entertaining your faceholes with gaming and general derpery, as well as taking part in and organising some fantastic events for a range of different charitable organisations.

Needless to say, none of this would have been possible without the support of all the wonderful members of the community itself.

If you'd like to know more, or to find out how to join QT, click here.

You can use the PayPal button below to donate to Qubetubers. We're a non-profit group of people who love gaming and entertaining others with our shenanigans, so anything you can give to help support the site and the community will be greatly appreciated.

It is not required (and never will be) to access any particular privileges of the site. The only reward as of now is that any donator over 5 dollars will get a yellow forum name, and a green SMP name. And of course, a good feeling. We will let the community know when we are in dire need of donations through various fundraising events.

How Donations Are Used

Your donation would be going to supporting administrative costs, the SMP, giveaways and anything else the staff sees as a good use of the funds to enhance our community and keep it moving forward. Any mass excess of funds will likely be funnelled to a Charity in the name of the QubeTubers community.